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byron kho
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An Attempt to Stand Out (3)


Assad and I on a typical chill night.

blog: xanga
blog: the_whole_thing
September 2003 - April 2004
May 15, 2004- May 21, 2004
May 22, 2004- May 24, 2004
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July 29, 2004: Philadelphia


Thanks to Grace and cellist from Philly Orch. friend, got to attend Lang Lang concert at the Mann for free. Orchestra seats too. Verdi's Overture to I Vespri Siciliani was great - less impressed by Bloch's Schelomo, though it has its pretty parts. It's kind of like a week-long trip at the Wailing Wall. The wailing gets to you after a while. Soloist Bill Stokking was great (Grace was on hand to deliver some orchestra gossip....that I like to hear). Then Strauss's Till Eulenspiegel... Apparently, this is Luis Biava's last day as resident conductor, and he's doing all his favorites, most of which he also did during his time at Temple (again, Grace). It didn't rain hard, which was good, because otherwise it would have drowned out the fabulous playing of Lang Lang, who did the Rach 2 sublimely. His playing was melodious and his touch was light, yes, but I alreayd loved the piece beforehand. It has great haunting melodies in each movement, and there's something almost (Russian-y) patriotic about the swelling chords that fill out the place.

Lloyd was around again today, and caused some trouble. I caught him stealing before, and he wouldn't fess up. I just didn't reimburse his tokens, and he complained. Waited for Tristan, who gave in. Now, I thought that was a mistake. And yes, it came back to bite him in the ass today. The Penn police were called in because someone else was causing an uncomfortable feeling in the lovely day time cashier, and Lloyd happened to be there. He got caught up in the mess - and well, all the old shit came back. Now, Lloyd has some specific grudges (he even came back 20 minutes later with a different police officer). See, now store policy says we can kick people out who aren't Penn-related. God knows Lloyd isn't. But I think it's wrong to kick him out, since Video Vault sells to non-Penn-related people. And yes, he causes discomfort, but you're a business. You watch, and make sure people aren't stealing. You go heavyhanded on your policies when necessary, and never show fear to the customer. Which is what hasn't really happened. If he really is a nuisance, catch him in something, write up an incident report. That way, you have a definite reason for kicking him out. No bad blood (for no reason) and you cover your ass in case you get sued for racial discrimination or whatnot. There's fair business policy, and there's practical business policy. And the way it is right now, it's neither.

July 25, 2004: Philadelphia


Today, I can proudly say that I did absolutely nothing. Ate popsicles. Paid my rent. Looked out the window. Played some games. Watched some TV. Talked on the phone a bit. Made plans for later. But all in all, I spent a majority of the afternoon watching Futurama and eating those devilishly good soft chocolate chip cookies from Chips Ahoy. So sweet, and so good. Oh, I also decided to go see Lang Lang on Wednesday; Bobby McFerrin on Thursday; Musiq on August 7; and Bebel Gilberto on August 14. Tickets for all four together will cost roughly 57 dollars. Do I want to spend that much money? Or, I could just not go and save up for more New York trips, which I dearly love.

July 24, 2004: Philadelphia


Sitting at home. Wondering what to do. Hearing Wes out the window. Hearing somebody say, "shut up, Wes!" Hearing Elvis in a remix of "A Little More Action" or whatever the song is called.

Arrgggh, it's past midnight, and I'm wondering what to do. I could go out, but it's kind of pointless since i'm all settled in and comfy at home. But then I ask myself, do I really need to go out? No! I've had the best day, and that's that. It really has been great.

To recap. Went to see Bourne Supremacy with Rachel on Friday. Great movie. Uses shaky shots to establish feeling that we're right there, and action is really tight. No wasted moves, like Ebert points out. The dialogue is sparse and to the point, and the feel is like what the spy world really is. OK, so maybe I wouldn't know. But it's a lot more sophisticated in its unpretentiousness. Other spy movies make it so overt and glamorous, while Bourne (Damon) seems to pay a heavy price, both in people he loses and how it changes his actions. A murder in the middle particularly affects me, and the audience. Unlike other movies, where guys simply get shot and no one cares, there is a feeling that a life is disappearing, right there, as Bourne chokes a fellow Treadstone agent to death with some fiber wire. All the action is tight, etc.

Rachel likes it, as far as I can tell. She's applying for salesperson jobs, as well as stewardess positions with Southwest. Also in biology labs and other things around campus. She's also looking for a place to stay, and I show her my place to help her get a feel for rooms in other areas around Penn. We go to her place, only a couple doors down from Molly. It's really her sister's, and she's only staying while she's in town. Until she gets another place, that is. It's really hot, and we talk a long time about Asian perceptions of health and some other things which I liked to talk about. Yeah, I ramble sometimes. Anyway, it's 2 AM and her sister walks in, like, WTF? Her sister works at Marathon during the day. Something like 7 an hour or so, as a hostess. Damn, that's a lot of work. I get a little less at the Vault for doing jack.

Jen Malivuk was here this past weekend. Today, I went out with her for lunch at Marathon Grill. Howreya's all around to Maribel (she remembers me after a year? i like to think i made a good first impression then.), Gizelle(y) and Amanda, who is still as ridiculous as the last time I saw her. Maybe back in December? It's been a while, anyway. I figured out why I missed having Jenny around - probably because she's so good at making her presence known when she is here. All of a sudden, when she's gone, there's nobody to manically say, "it's ok" at the least sign of weariness. I get home from work and talk to her and she's like, "it's ok" automatically. I'm like, geez, almost like a broken record here. But comforting, I guess. So I pay the bill for lunch/brunch, yeah yeah, but I work and she don't. She threatens to beat me up (like she did ALL last summer) and tries to force the money back. Her guilt trip is a big hug. Ha. I am impervious.

Brenna calls! I love hearing her messages. They're so... giggly and unassuming. Really cute, if you ask me. Anyway, it's kind of disconcerting to have her answering machine say "my..." which I assume is a cut-off of the actual message that's supposed to play. Every time I call back I suspect it's not her phone, but then she calls me later and says I got your message, etc. She wasn't there. I am crushed. Hehe. Cause last time we played phone tag, I missed out on Coney Island and afternoon delite. Arr. I almost went down to New York this afternoon, but I held myself back. Stupid rent payments. And I think she had that one party? I dunno.

Went to see The Corporation this afternoon with Grace and friend Liz. The movie seemed biased - the corporation is a profit machine that kills everything in its path - but then again, it's hard to portray any other side. An executive for the company would be hard-pressed to say that the company doesn't put profits first, and actually believe it. More likely that they would agree. Knowing that, the movie uses Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky, Michael Moore, Naomi Klein and others to put forth a distinctly liberal point of view. Even the right-wing opinions are centrist, as I'm sure it would be hard to find a fanatical right-winger that would vilify the corporation on the record. Typical arguments: corporations are killing the world. But even as they are typical, they are still engaging and worrisome. Especially the reminder that all our genes are being gradually patented. All of them. What happens when a corporation owns the right to all the things that make a person a person? Then what? We have a very bad track record on sharing things too. Wealth means hoarding for one's own security. If that were to happen with ownership of gene "property", that would be a very bad thing.

Dinner at Abner's, then home for another round of XIII and updating the web page. Taking it easy, and looking up some stuff to use in my Nursing and Kerry-Edwards rally piece for this week.

July 27, 2004: Philadelphia


I've just eaten a bowl of watercress cooked with instant noodles, and a popsicle. On this crappy diet (except for the watercress), I think up ridiculous ideas on air tinged with monosodium glutamate and stupidity. I just watched Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, and am shamefacedly admitting this fact. And funny enough, Lindsay Lohan wasn't the hot one (now who ever said she was?). It was the bitch girl, similar to the bitch girl that was in Mean Girls. And yes, I did see that one too. It was only playing at UA Theaters up in Upper Darby, and Anthony and I went up one night to go see that one. In any case, they kinda made her look just a little worse than Lindsay except for in the first scene where you see her. Wow, stupid thoughts.

I was actually trying to call Brenna at the time. However, Chinn answered the phone, and Brenna wasn't home. For someone that loves to be called, she is the hardest person to get a hold of. But I don't blame her - I'm the same way. I go oh, somebody called. I'll call them back in 10 minutes... no, too loud here, so another hour, when I get home... but it's a bad time, like dinner, or going to a bar time, so later... but they're going to bed now, so tomorrow... it's lunch time, I can't call... it's dinner... when should I call? Oh, after said person goes to bed. Yay. No, I'll call back some other time.

I was crazy enough to get two movies to watch tonite. The one I'm watching right now, while writing, so I'm not really paying too much attention to it: the Thin Red Line. Terrence Malik. Very hard-hitting movie. Released at the same time as Saving Private Ryan, so it kinda got dumped on. But it's infinitely darker. Tells us war is bad, and for the bonds it makes and breaks among men, whose business is honor and survival. Mostly survival. Weird, John Travolta playing a quiet role, almost an extra. Jim Caviezel, John Cusack, John C. Reilly, George Clooney, Elias Koteas, Jared Leto, TIm Blake Nelson, Woody Harrelson, Adrien Brody, Sean Penn, all playing soldiers with dreams and hopes and who die with futility in their eyes, and loss you can feel. An almost nonsensical loss, winning a ridge that they will abandon immediately. Just before, Nick Nolte, the bastard captain refused to allow them to reconnoiter to the side to lower casualties and keep surprise on their side, while still winning the ridge. But there's a don't be a coward mentality that pervades. Act the hero, rush the enemy, damn the consequences, die with honor, be tough, don't run from fights. And after huge losses, "these men... look at their spirit. They're raring to go..." and then the admission, "I've been waiting my whole life for this moment, and I'm not gonna let it go..."

Are you righteous? Are you kind? Are you loved by all? Did you hold goodness? Truth?
- impromptu last rites for the buried soldier

July 17, 2004: New York


I went to New York this past weekend. And oh Lord, was it fun. Unfortunately, I started out the day with some sort of stomach cramp. I think I got food poisoning from this restaurant in Chinatown on Thursday. That wasn't too good. I ended up getting up real late on Saturday, such that by the time I had lunch (at Xe Lua) and gotten my shit all the way over to the Chinatown bus station (the Convention Center underpass at Race St.), it was already 2 pm. Rolled into New York at around 4ish. Sat around in lower Manhattan for a while. Walked around City Hall Park. Did some other stuff. Ended up near the World Trade Center site at this movie theater place where I watched Anchorman and waited for Brenna to call back. And call back she did - she lives in Brooklyn, come over, we can go out somewhere, do stuff, take the R train. OK.

Anchorman over. Some parts funny as shit, but Will Ferrell is a little over the top sometimes. Particularly enjoyed the rumble scene where all these celebrities make pointless cameos in gay 70s leisure suits and pinstripes. "Rule number one: don't touch the hair, or the face. That's all." THe ending was retarded. Christina Applegate and Will make up and go on to become successful co-anchors for national news. Blah. Vince Vaughn's character should have blown up at Will and done something, but all we had to see was this silly I respect you gag to wrap up that loose end. Boo.

Brenna shows off her wonderful place. She pays 800 a month and lives in this wonderful place in Brooklyn with some pretty cool people. The one Asian dude in her place works as a lawyer for the NAACP. He don't earn that much money, but he gets to travel and help the downtrodden, in a fashion. Cool living. Brenna works for NYU Med in some AIDS lab, mainly on T-cells and less on the HIV side. I read this AIDS book recently, and the fact that 50 million suffer from AIDS and we only have so little spent on AIDS cures drives me bananas. Especially when one realizes that since Reagan's time, plenty of warnings have been issued, and nobody has done anything about global AIDS. Domestic AIDS, yes, but nothing from the US for global AIDS work. Millions die overseas, and Bush Sr. Was hung up on trying to be Christian and going the abstinence-only treatment route, which doesn't work. Even Clinton did nothing, gave no money, and only did lip service to the AIDS cause. Even today, he trumpets (along with Bono and Bill Gates) about AIDS but he did nothing during his presidency. Bush, today, fares no better. He finally promised $15 billion for worldwide AIDS (for UNAIDS and other organizations, with less strings attached) which, though it's yet to show up, is better than no money and no promises.

Her room is freakin hot. It's funny to see she still has my Jay-Z The Black Album cd in her ghetto stereo. She's reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and also Faulkner. I told her I started Sound and the Fury and just couldn't do it. She's forcing it, she says, but I say no. Not worth it. Lots of other classics to catch up on.

Well, choices are Williamsburg (with the hipsters) or the movies. Seen Spidey 2, but want to see De-Lovely and before Sunset. Either is a good choice, I would say, and she wants to go cuz goin alone ain't no fun. But I go with Williamsburg. She seems really happy (I'm glad, because I am too), but she was a little ticked that I didn't come earlier. Something about a music festival down Coney Island way, and biking down there, and fun in the sun. I regretfully neglect to tell her that I woke up late. Then, we make our way down there. Taking the M train (I think it was) up to B-burg, where we walk down the street all the way to this grungy place that was non-evidently the B-Burg Arts Center. Some drummer from the hood is there. He's like, "I used to live here until the rich folk kick me out." True that. Like TriBeCa and SoHo before the coming of the artsy fartsy rich hombre crowd. We listen to jazz (she wanted it, so I'm sure she liked it), get some wine (several accidents later...) and Coronas with lime (she discovers I don't like lime Coronas so much), eat salty chips, laugh at nothing and everything, complain about bruises and mosquito bites and trace funny lines along the bumps (she's the cutest klutz I know, and extremely attractive to mosquitoes). Get Mexican before the place closes. Fun.

Morning comes, I wake up ater 5 hours of sleep, eat the rest of the big beef and bean burrito (what were we thinking!!) for breakfast, start reading the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, which are totally amazing adventures. Listen to some music on her stereo, switch the TV on and off, drink water, hang around the house, look out the window, make a couple phone calls. She is still sleeping. Damn. Talk to Chinn, the guy housemate. She finally gets up, and we talk over some food. But I'm tired as fuck because I got drunk and then didn't sleep. Bad, bad, bad. So I end up not doin too well, and then I have to leave to go meet Steve and the parents for lunch. I step off her stoop and already I miss her.

Meet Steve at Grand Central. Lunch at TGIF. Baby cockroach on the wall. Mom propositioning Louisa off to Steve. I'm sure Louisa would SO appreciate that, this family meddling... hehehe. She deserves it. Shop with Aunt Lanny. Drive down to Central Park, it's raining. Nasty wetness, drive to hotel really late. Wake up 4 hours later, drive into work in the morning. Exhausted, son of a bitch my tummy hurts and goddam papers to read and shit to do. Bad mood.